My Depression
 
(Springfield)


Born in the southern land
where a man is a man
don't remember too much
warm mama,  cold touch
post war baby boom
50 kids in one room
all white future bright but living in a wound
got a TV receiver
Jerry Mathers as The Beaver
No blacks, no queers
no sex, mouseketeers
daddy kept moving round
I can't settle down
always the lost new kid in town
Manlicher, lock and loaded
JFK's head exploded
dark figure at the fence
end of my innocence
hormones hit me
chew up spit me
get stoned get plastered
always was a moody bastard
guitar fool, kicked out of high school
joined a band/Vietnam
mama-san/killed a man
daddy gets real sick
it's too intense I can't stick it
bought myself a ticket to the USA

Oh My God, it's my life
what am I doing kickin at the foundation
that's right, my life
better start thinking 'bout my destination

Hollywood sex rat
been there done that
jaded, afraid I'd never get a turn at bat
last in a long line, finally hit the big time
goldmine, feedin time
money, fame I get mine
use it abuse it
daddy dies I lose it
get a wife, get a son
beget another one
head said God's dead
motorcycle body shred
midlife crisis rears it's ugly head

Oh My God, it's my life
what am I doing kickin up the foundation
that's right, my life
better start lookin at my destination

Well, Prosaic, Lithium
could never get enough of them
Last Wills, shrink spills
sleeping pills, sex kills
edge of sanity, my infidelity
looking in the mirror
thinking how it use to be
I don't like the skin I'm in
caught in a tail spin
honest to God
vision spiritual transmission
climb aboard the life raft
looking back I have to laugh
take a breath
don't know if I'm ready for the second half

Oh My God, it's my life
what am I doing kickin at the foundation
that's right, my life
better start lookin at my destination

My life, my depression
My sin, my confession
my curse, my obsession
my school, my lesson
that's right, my life
my depression
that's right, my life
my depression

(total playing time 3:01)

Song Facts: This can be found on shock/denial/anger/acceptance.
This was written at the same time the songs from Karma were written, and then revamped to fit in with this cd.

 

According to US

I was able to hear the "original" version of this song a couple of years before it made it onto sdaa. I had heard a lot of good things about it before I heard it and I just knew I wasn't going to like it, simply because I was expecting too much. I was wrong. I loved this song. I thought at the time, it was probably the best song Rick Springfield had ever written. It was so in your face, this is my life, warts and all. No sugar coating here. Vietnam, drug use, depression. And no hints of infidelity to the point that people could try to explain around it.... just black and white - "my infidelity"....I think the thing I liked most about the original, was it was somewhat tongue and cheek, kind of "here's my life, it was really tough, but literally, looking back I have to laugh". For me, it seems to have lost that in the sdaa version. A lot more straight forward. In the original there was a voice reflection in the "always was a moody bastard" and in the " Prozac lithium, could never get enough of them". It seemed very light and very funny. I really miss that. I remember, too, after hearing that he was going to include this song on sdaa, we all couldn't wait to see which lines he pulled out, thinking that was going to tell us something, kind of let us know what secrets he was wanting to hide. He didn't pull anything out. There it all still was. My biggest question in the song is - who is the "dark figure at the fence"? For some reason I get the impression that might be the key to the unhappiness that has weaved itself in and out of Rick's life.  - rlh


I find this one difficult to talk about, to review for some reason. Maybe it's the subject matter, maybe it's because the words are too harsh for me to dissect and look at with a microscope as I tend to do with most of Rick's music. It's a wonderful thing, being the fan of a musician who writes his own music in my opinion...it's also an awful thing.

The first few times I heard this song, the hair literally stood up on my arms. The words were flying by so fast that I could only catch bits and pieces, and so I kept listening to it over and over. I kept hoping I wasn't hearing him correctly. Again, the sin of knowing that Rick wrote this song about his life. I didn't want to know the horror, the honesty getting shot and spat at me. He's beautiful, he lives in Malibu; has the trophy wife; token two kids; celebrity life. This is not how I imagined it to be. This is not how it was *supposed* to be for him. I grew up with the help of this man's lyrics. Yeah, he's a pop singer - so what. That's what I needed at the time. I heard this song, and I grieved for him. Here he was making me feel so alive when inside he felt like shit. (I don't have the talent for making it sound any better) I felt like a bad fan, like I should have seen it, ya know??

I guess just like living with everyday horrors, listening to this song now is not so difficult. You're kind of numb from the initial shock I guess, or have learned to live with it. I can say that the one thing this song has done for me is make me pay attention to the people around me. I don't brush off people telling me "I'm just having a bad day." when they look like it's more. I'm trying to take more time to listen, and to share more of my feelings -whether good or bad- when asked. I keep thinking there could have been an awful ending to this song, that we would have had to finish ourselves if Rick hadn't of gotten the help he needed.

I don't really understand depression, and have come to realize that unless I experience it myself I probably won't. I do understand more how talented a songwriter Rick is -- this could have been a "it's a wonderful life" type of song with a different spin on the lyrics. However I think that's what he wanted to express here, the anger - and then the acceptance of how his life has been so far. A happy song with a soothing melody just wouldn't have done it justice. - Michelle P.


This song almost makes ME depressed! I know (like all of Rick's fans do) that his path in life has not been an easy one. Most of what he states in this song, was just about all common knowledge for the majority of those who love and adore him. It's just hard to accept some of it when you want to believe that he is so wonderful. Yeah, he's only human just as we are so this song definitely tells us that! I don't always skip this song, but when I do listen to it, I choose to focus more on the song and the music, not the real meaning in it and behind it. - Amy L.