General Hospital
July 16, 2008

Scene 1
Spinelli: Whiskey. Straight up and keep them coming.

Coleman: It's not even ten o'clock in the morning.
Spinelli: Yeah, well, the jackal's sorrow knows no time limit. It is an all-consuming, life-altering pain that only the stiffest of drinks can hope to alleviate.
Coleman: You start downing whiskey this early, you'll be feeling a hell of a lot worse in a few hours. Why don't you -- why don't you have, like, an orange soda instead?
Spinelli: Perhaps the jackal was unclear in his intent. He wishes to wallow in despair and therefore require something a little more potent than nectar of the gods.
Coleman: Yeah? Well, you're going to have to go somewhere else. All right? If you get plastered here, you get into trouble, that means I'm going to get into trouble with -- you know, with your boss. I can't afford to be on the bad side of Morgan. I mean -- not that --
[Chuckles] Not that he's got a good side, but --
Spinelli: In truth, stone cold has been very gracious and patient in regards to the jackal. But there is no way that the Zen master can possibly comprehend his grasshopper's ongoing struggle because stone cold has the key to tame the wild heart. And although the jackal has been a dedicated pupil, he still continues to fail miserably in this particular respect, and therefore seeks to drown that said humiliation by imbibing distilled spirits of mass quantity.
Eli: Whoo -- hey, bartender. I would like whiskey, straight up, and you can leave the bottle.
Coleman: Coming right up.
Spinelli: Wait, wait, wait. Why -- why does he get to partake without limit when the jackal is refused?
Coleman: It's Eli love. Pay attention. You might learn a thing or two. Mr. Love. Hey. You -- you celebrating or commiserating?
Eli: Well, actually, you can call me Eli and I'm celebrating. I want you to join me.
Coleman: Hey. What are we drinking to, man?
Eli: We're drinking to wealth, health, and women. May they all be as beautiful as the lovely Anna Devane.

Scene 2
Eli: This place reminds me of the bar I got my start in.
Coleman: Yeah, but come on, you've come a long way from cold beer on tap and a pool table in the corner.
Eli: Yeah, these days I spend more time drinking in V.I.P. Lounges. Cheers, mate. Every now and then, it's nice to get down and dirty.
Coleman: Hey, Eli, if I comp this bottle of whiskey, do you think I can ask you to play tonight
Eli: Dude, come on look -- I like the bar, but I couldn't play here. I mean, once they get people packed in here, it'll be a security nightmare, it will be a riot.
Coleman: All right, man, no danger of a riot, just a broken heart. Do you see the kid over here? He needs a few tips on how to impress the ladies. And since you've got them falling at your feet, I was thinking maybe you could, you know -- share a secret or two?
Eli: Say no more.
Coleman: I appreciate it, man.
Eli: Cheers.
Coleman: He does, too, cheers.
Eli: Hi, sport, how are you doing, you all right? I hear you, uh, are looking to score with the ladies. Is it anyone in particular or just fairer sex in general?
Spinelli: No, there's just one. One beautiful blonde that has captured the jackal's very soul. However, he's most unclear as to how to turn her -- her friendly affections into those of a romantic nature.
Eli: [Laughs] Just learn to play the guitar, mate.
Spinelli: Well, unfortunately the jackal is rhythmically challenged.
Eli: Well, you can wear one, can't you? You know how the girls always fall for the guy with the guitar.
Anna: Well, it depends on the guy and what kind of guitar he's holding.
Eli: Ahh, yes, this is the lady I've been talking about. Miss Anna Devane, you ready for an encore?


approximately 3:04 of Eli content]