General Hospital
July 29, 2008

Scene 1

Robin: Mom should be here by now. Maybe Noah wasn't able to convince her after all. She can be very, very stubborn.
Patrick: Sounds like somebody else I know.
Robin: I don't know what you're talking about.
Patrick: Robin, at the risk of sounding obnoxious and hovering, I'm going to say it anyway. Stress is not good for you and the baby. Frankly, considering all the reasons you should be worried about your mother, like rebel uprisings and kung fu battles over nuclear codes, showing up to an Eli Love concert is not a big deal.
Robin: Listen, Eli was a jerk. He cast her aside because she's about to be a grandmother, which is something she was already struggling with.
Patrick: Yes, what Eli did was very insensitive, but I don't think he meant to hurt her.
Robin: Well, he did and she needs to be here to get over it.
Patrick: For herself or so you can implement this crazy plan of yours?
Eli: Hey, hey, look who's here.
Patrick: Hey, yeah, thanks for the tickets.
Eli: You're very welcome, mate. Like I said, no hard feelings, but you did try to damage the merchandise. I mean, in this business, you know, faces matter. So I gave you the backstage passes on the condition that you would bring Anna. Is she here?
Robin: I was under the impression that you wanted nothing to do with her because she's about to be a granny. So why would you care if she's here or not?
Anna: I'd love to know the answer to that myself.

 

Scene 2

Eli: Look, Anna, I am so glad that you decided to grace me with your presence.
Anna: Mm, yeah, I almost didn't because you're an ass. And quite frankly, I have better things to do. But a good friend reminded me that I don't actually have to like you to listen to your music.
Eli: You're still mad at my little faux pas.
Anna: Faux pas? Do you even know what that means? You dismissed me as being too old for a perennial adolescent such as yourself.
Eli: I apologize, ok, from my heart. The thing is, Anna, I am crazy about you, all right? And if you doubt that, then consider the fact that I got my jaw pounded on, not once, but twice, in your honor. I still want you backstage.
Anna: Well, that's saying something, isn't it?
Eli: Look, I -- what I said was really, really rude and disrespectful. I don't know, I just -- you know, spur -- spur of the moment thing. I don't know why. I don't know. I got caught up in it. I want a second chance with you.
Anna: I don't know why I should. I mean, really. Fool me once and all that.
[Anna sighs]
Anna: But I guess you're allowed one egregious mistake. Besides, I hear your new single's pretty cool.
Eli: Oh, I'm so excited for you to hear it.
Chip: Five minutes, Eli.
Eli: All right, five minutes.
Chip: Here we go.
Eli: Here we go. My favorite part, just five minutes before we go on. Do you feel excitement?
Robin: Do you see him?
Patrick: Yeah, he's right there.
Robin: Oh, hey, thank god. I didn't think security would let you through.
Max: Oh, well, when I realized they were doing a body search, I went back to the car to stow the special equipment you requested, assuming we're still a go?
Robin: Yeah, yeah, why wouldn't we be?
Max: Well, I -- I just thought you might've reconsidered. I mean, as far as plans go, this one is pretty drastic, Carly-worthy even.
Patrick: Max, I think you should be t one to reconsider. You know you're taking orders from a pregnant hormonal mother-to-be?
Robin: Shh. Sonny told you to do whatever I want, right?
Max: He did.
Robin: Ok, then all you have to do is kidnap Eli love at gunpoint and we're good.

 

Scene 3

[Cheers and applause]
Eli: Thank you, thank you. This next song I am going to dedicate to a very special lady. I think she knows who she is.
[Cheers and applause]
Eli: 
Tell me her name, cause I really want to see her
And tell me her game, cause I need an exit strategy
Ah, what a tragedy
But I know she's not what's best for me
And I know she'll cause me harm
And I know she'd rather fly away
To someone else's arms
Oh it's true the world wants a mystery
But I need to know one thing….
What's Victoria's Secret
Tell me if the clothes she wears will expose
All of my weakness
Woman I just can't let go til I know
Victoria's Secret
Whispering her love song in my ear
Victoria's Secret
Will haunt me today
Do I really need to know her name
Show me that face
Is it really what it claims to be
Show me that brain
Is it really based in fantasy
Oh it's Vanity
Yeah she seems to get the best of me
Of what little there is left
And it seems that she's controlling me
Like a robot in a trance
And it's true we don't learn from history
But I gotta know one thing
What's Victoria's Secret
Tell me if the skin she bares will expose
All of my weakness
Woman I just can't let go til I know
Victoria's Secret
Whispering a love song in my ear
Victoria's Secret
Will haunt me today
Do I really need to know her…..
Will I find, peace of mind 
In a photograph of holidays
That little girl from yesterday
What was that name
Did I ever really know her 
What's Victoria's Secret
Tell me if the clothes she wears 
Will expose all of my weakness
Woman I just can't let go til I know
Victoria's Secret 
Whispering a love song in my ear
Victoria's Secret
Will haunt me today
Did I ever really know her 
Secret
Will haunt me today
Will you ever really know her
Secret
Will haunt me today
Can we ever really know her name

[Cheers and applause]
Robin: Oh, no, this is war.

 

Scene 4

Anna: Why are we waiting here for Patrick, right next to Eli's limo? The last thing I want to do is to see that jackass again.
Robin: Because I, uh, I feel safe here. You know, those Eli love fans are crazy. They can't back here, so --
[Crowd murmuring]
Eli: All right, guys, thanks a lot. See you next year, yeah? All right. Fan: Great concert, Eli. Second fan: Thank you. Thank you.
Eli: Did you like the show?
Anna: I think your girlfriend liked it, yeah. But she looks kind of old for you. What is she, 24 or something?
Eli: Oh, you've got to be kidding. That's just a little bit of onstage fun. I hardly know the girl.
Anna: [Mimics Eli] Onstage fun. Gun
Man: Comply, Mr. Love, there's no need for this to get ugly.
Eli: Are you freaking kidding me?
Anna: Aah!
[Gunman groans]
Anna: Aah!
Eli: Oh, that was amazing.

[approximately 8:20  of Noah/Eli content]