July 31, 2008
Eli: You are not going to do this to me.
Trish: Do what? Make you grow up?
Chip: Can you just lower your voice so we can all
discuss this --
Trish: Expect you to act like a father?
Anna: Can you help me out here?
Epiphany: Sure, lead the way.
Anna: All right. So, Elijah, what do you say? Would
you like to go see the inside of a real live ambulance?
Elijah: Yeah, sure.
Epiphany: I think that can be arranged, if it's all
right with you.
Trish: Of course.
Epiphany: Come on. You're going to love this.
Trish: Thank you. I know I shouldn't be doing this
in front of my son.
Anna: Don't mention it.
Eli: Shouldn't have brought the kid here in the first place.
Anna: Could you just move away from Eli for one
Eli: Thank you, Anna. At least somebody's got some
Anna: Hey, back off.
Trish: I wish I could have done that.
Anna: My pleasure.
Trish: Watching it was almost just as good, and
it's all I needed. I'm going to get my son now. The tabloids are going to love
Eli: Tracy -- oh.
Robin: What's the matter, Eli? You feeling your age?
Eli: Oh, I think I broke something.
Anna: Let's hope it's your bottomless ego.
Patrick: Before we scrape you off the floor and
boot you out of here, there's something i need to tell you.
Eli: You guys having fun?
Patrick: I would say as far as public communication goes,
this is about as good as it gets.
Eli: You bloody sadist! Give me a hand.
Patrick: First of all, for every guy who is a father who
is trying to do the right thing, who is maybe not sure what it means to be a
father, shut up and listen.
Whether you meant to or not, you have --
Noah: What's going on?
Anna: Your son is giving Eli some much-needed
Eli: Talking about -- Trish knew the deal going in. I mean
she -- she wasn't waiting in the back of the tour bus with me because she
thought I'd make a good father.
Patrick: You helped create another person, and
there's no escaping that, and that person has a right to expect certain things
from you. You can and should expect certain things from yourself, like getting
to know who he is, figuring out what he likes, what he needs, expecting
something of yourself. And I know it takes time out of your glamorous,
fast-living lifestyle, but there's a reward in it. Raising a child is a
privilege, and the fact that you're running away, abandoning your son, it's a
direct insult to the other guy who's trying to do the right thing. You're
exactly what women hate about men.
Eli: I hope you're not having any regrets.
Anna: Oh, me? No. You know, the only thing I regret
was ever trying to get to know the man behind the musician you know, the real
Eli love. You're just a shallow narcissist.
Noah: You know, I think Eli suffered more brain
damage than we thought in that operation last year. Otherwise, he'd realize that
the groupie parade's going to come and go. He'll never find anybody quite as
amazing as you.
Anna: Oh, thank you. I just can't believe it took
me so long to work out what a loser he is.
Noah: We all -- we all fell for it, though. I mean,
you know, when you see the guy putting all that energy and passion on stage, you
think there's more to it. But people can surprise you, and where you found that
stuff out about being a father, I'll never know. If you put that into practice,
then you're going to be an amazing dad.
Ok, so, what do you think?
Robin: I think you should call your dad and see
what they want for dinner.
Patrick: Robin, what do you think about the
Robin: I'm worried about my mother.
Patrick: That's all we've done, is worry about your
mother. Your mom and Eli. What about me? What about spending a little time with
the baby's father?
Robin: I want to do that, too.
Robin: But my mother at a dinner with your father,
who happens to look exactly like you -- so what if she rebounds?
Patrick: We're not going to do this. We're not
going to do this. We're not going to think about your mother and my father
getting together romantically. It's not going to happen. So we're not going to
Robin: You're right. You're right.
Patrick: You're right.
Robin: It's totally silly.
Patrick: So, what do you think?
Robin: I'll be right back.
Noah: I think, in time, you're probably going to miss Eli and that rock star
Anna: Ah, no. Not in the slightest. No. I swear.
When they were wheeling him out of my life forever, I didn't even have the
smallest twinge of regret. Nothing.
Anna: Oh, my gosh.
Anna: No. You know what I'm thinking? That last
summer, when I was attracted to you because i thought you looked like Eli?
Anna: Maybe I was attracted to Eli because he looks
Noah: Probably should say something noble right
now. What the hell.
[approximately 5:02 of Noah/Eli content]